An unhappy marriage can affect every other relationship you have. If you and your spouse have been unhappy for a while, you may be trying to figure it out through counseling. Perhaps you are seeing a counselor on your own to make sense of your discontentment.
What are you looking for? Do you want a better relationship than the one you have? Is it possible that your spouse can provide that if you keep working at it? Or do you simply want out of the marriage? These are difficult questions. However, some marriage counselors see common threads in marriages that are already past the point of saving.
Does this sound like you?
If you are in a relationship that contains abuse, control or addiction, your safety may depend on you getting free from the situation. However, in other cases, it may be more difficult to determine if there is hope to build on. Some counselors suggest you look for the following signs as examples of actions married couples take when the relationship is over:
- When you think of ending the marriage, you feel relief rather than sorrow.
- You dread the time when your spouse comes home in the evening and secretly hope he or she will have to work late or go somewhere else.
- You and your spouse intentionally act in ways that you know will irritate the other or pay no attention to requests the other has made.
- You are no longer intimate and have no desire to rekindle the attraction.
- Your lives and interests are completely separate, and you no longer enjoy each other’s interests or company, even to share a meal together.
- You know that when the kids are older, there will be nothing to keep you in the marriage.
- You probably wouldn’t be too upset if your spouse started seeing someone else.
- You can no longer muster respect for each other even in public, including speaking to others about your spouse with disdain.
While you and your spouse are really the only ones who know if your marriage can overcome any of these feelings and actions, you may have decided to continue with therapy in hopes of a breakthrough. However, it may be wise to also learn about your legal options according to Texas law so you are prepared and protected in case one of you decides to end it.